View source for Northumbrian verse. Pills for All Ills

By [[Clegg, Donald|Donald Clegg]] and by kind permission of [[Dalton, Clive|Clive Dalton]] on whose blog (the Woolshed) this article first appeared.

[[Clegg, Donald|Don Clegg]] entered this verse in the Morpeth competition for dialect poetry - and won the cup for a second year along with other awards.

[[File:Don Clegg.jpg|frame|center|alt=Don Clegg with his cup and other wards for Northumbrian dialect verse - photo provided by Clive Dalton|Don Clegg with his cup and other wards for Northumbrian dialect verse - photo provided by Clive Dalton]]
Aa went to the doctor’s on Monda, Aa thowt Aa was gettin’ the flu,<br>
Aa was gannin’ cowld an’ hot, an’ coffin’ a lot. When Aa got there he says, ‘How de do’?<br>
He says, ‘If yo’re ill Aa’ll give ye a pill’. So he did. Aa said ‘Thanks’. It was BLUE.

Aa went to the doctor’s on Tuesda. Aa hev a job gettin’ about,<br>
It might be rheumatics or an ingrown toenail, or corns, or summat, or gout’,<br>
When Aa got to the car it was rainin’, so Aa thowt Aa’d tek me umbrella.<br>
Doc says, ‘By, ye look ill, Aa’d bettor give ye a pill’.  An’ he did. Aa said,’Thanks’. It was YELLA.

Aa went to the doctor’s on Wensda, Aa hed sic an ache in me arm.<br>
It’s a mystery to me, but Aa think it must be, years ago, muckin’ oot on the farm,<br>
It was the same canny doctor. He says, ‘Nuw just let’s hev a wee think’<br>
Aa’ll give ye a pill, then ye’ll not feel ill.” So he did. Aa said, ‘Thanks’. It was PINK

Aa went to the doctor’s on Thorsda. Me heed was achin’ and sare<br>
Aa’d been on the pop (didn’t know when to stop). Aa’ve nivvor felt like it afore,<br>
The doc wasn’t that sympathetic. He asked, If Aa’d  been on the town,<br>
Yo’re boond to feel ill, but Aa’ll give ye a pill.  An’ he did. Aa said, ‘Thanks’. It was BROWN.

Aa went to the doctor’s on Frida. Me wattor works aal of a twist<br>
Aa’d not been to the loo for a day or two -Aa’d give owt to gan oot and git p.........d (put right).<br>
‘By heck’! says the doc. ‘Ye must hev some kind o’block, it’s the warst Aa’ve seen aal this summer’.<br>
‘But if yo’re feelin’ see ill, Aa’ll not give ye a pill, here’s a note for Jack Nixon, the plumber’.

Aa was back at the doctor’s on Satdy. He was theor as Aa went through the door<br>
He says, ‘Hello, me good man, you divn’t look vary grand. Let me think - have I seen you before’?<br>
‘Aa just think ye have’, was me sarky reply. ‘Aal this med’cin ye think such a boon’,<br>
‘Aa’ve had that mony pills, Aa’m fed up to the gills, an’ rattle when Aa jump up and doon’.

But noo Aa’m aal sorted and fit as a lop. Ivvry mornin’ Aa gan for a run<br>
Aa play footbaal, gan bikin’ an’ swimmin’ and such so Aam hevin’ nee end of gud fun,<br>
So here’s to the doctors that keep us alive an’ save us from aal kinds of stress.<br>
Cos Aa sometimes fear, Aa just wadn’t be here, if it warn’t for the NHS.

But as we get owlder and faalin’ apart, we suffer from aal sorts of ills<br>
So in case wor good doctor’s not able to come, Aa’ve still got me box full of pills.

[[Clegg, Donald|Donald Clegg]] (Aad Wattie)
[[Category:Songs and Poems]]