Nicky Tams (Anon)

Nicky Tams where thongs of leather, or lengths of string, that were tied round the trouser, just below the knees, to keep the bottom of their trouser out of the muck.

When I wis barely twelve years auld I left the pairish school.
My faither fee’d me tae the mains tae chaw his milk and meal.
First I pit on my narra breeks tae hap my spinnel trams,
Syne happit roon my knappin knees a pair o’ nicky tams.

Well, first I gaed on for baillie’s loon and syne I gaed on for third,
And syne, of coorse, I had to get the horseman’s grip and word,
A loaf of breid tae be my piece and a bottle for drinking drams,
Ye daurna gang thro’ thecalf-hoose door withouut your nicky tams.

The fairmer I am wi’ the noo, he’s wealthy but he’s mean.
The corn is cheap, his horse is thin, and his harness fairly deen.
He gars us load oor cairts ower fu’, his conscience has nae qualms,
When breist straps brak there’ naethin’ like a pair o’ nicky tams.

I’m coortin’ bonnie Annie noo, Rab Tamson’s kitchie deem,
O she is five and forty and I’m but seventeen.
She clorts a mickle piece tae me wi’ different kinds o’ jams,
And tells me ilka nicht that she admires my nicky tams.

Ae Sunday mornin’ I gaed oot, the kirkie for to gang,
My collar it was unco ticht, my brreks were nane ower lang.
I had my Bible in my pooch, likewise my book o’ psalms,
When Annie roars, “Ye muckle gype, tak aff yer nicky tams!”

So, unco sweer, I took them aff, the lassie for to please,
But aye my breeks they lurkit up aroon aboot my knees.
An a wasp gaed crawlin’ up my leg in the middle o’ the Psalms.
O never again will I rade the Kirk withoot my nicky tams.

Noo, I’ve aften thocht I’d like tae be a bobby on the Force,
Or mebbe be a tramwayman and drive a pair o’ horse.
Whatever it’s my fate tae be, the bobbies or the trams,
I’ll ne’er forget the happy days I wore my nicky tams