Northumbrian Poetry - Meeting at the Mart
Where livestock are sold at a market or 'mart' anywhere in the world, it's not just a venue for the trading of livestock. A major function of the mart is for farmers to meet and discuss the problems of the day - even if they are not buying or selling stock themselves.
Their reason (or excuse) for going to the mart is to 'check on the trade' - and to complain if prices are low, but make sure they are not heard to be too positive if they are high in case some great natural disaster is waiting to fall upon them!
The mart is a legitimate opportunity to get off the farm, and is regularly viewed by farmers' wives and partners as a 'male creche', to leave the men folk while the ladies go shopping. The women know that the males will not have strayed far from the mart on their return. If they are not at the mart, they are guaranteed to be in one of the local pubs!
The above photo was snapped at the last sheep sales at Bellingham mart on 10th October 2004 and it stimulated the authors into a bit of Northumbrian dialect verse from memories of their past days working on North Tyne and Rede farms.
Jock
Noo Wattie, what’s yor fettle, Aa’m keepin’ weel mesell
Apart from pains an’ belly wark Aa’m sorvivin’, truth to tell.
What think ye of the stock in heor, thor’s sum Aa wadn’t touch,
Wi’ shot mooth an’ wi brocky fyace, five pund is ower much.
Wattie
Aye Jock thor bad, there is nee doot, Aa’ve nivvor seen yowes warse.
Lean as craas wi’ pooky jaas an’ aal wi’ daggy arse.
In this pen heor, just tek a keek, thor’s not yen meks the grade.
Aa’m sorry if Aa upset folk, but Aa'll caal a spade a spade.
Jock
Whey nivvor heed man Wattie, yor entitled to yor say,
But howld a bit and think on, afore we gan away.
Hev a look and just stand back, an’ give yorsell a minute
Afore ye oppen up yor gob an’ plant yor big foot in it.
Te find fault and te criticise is often varry fine
But check thor lug marks an’ thor bust
An ye’ll see them yowes is mine!
